Noodle in the Middle
by Shells of Shade and Light
Summary: When Murdoc almost illegally kills Noodle, Russell calls the police. Murdoc blames it on 2d. 2d has to cover the conjectures while the irony leaks through. Slash inferences possibly. Early, Phase 2.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: No positive reception**

Murdoc was oblivious to the stone parallel to his crooked nose. He snickered evilly as 2d glared with his deep voids. Russell snatched the stone from aim and ceased the volatile Murdoc. 2d heaved heavily in breathes as young Noodle entered the room with a gleaming smile.

"Murdoc-san! I… done! See… paper?" She shook a sheet of slanted English in front of his face vigorously.

"Bad English?" She whimpered after several moments of Murdocs' expression. His grunts of confusion appealed to her as disapproval. "Is it too short?"

"No," He sputtered for her to keep quiet. "Now leave. I have business to take care of."

He gestured his green chipped fingernails toward Noodles' miserable face of forged comprehension.

She exited without a word, skipping into the hallway.

"What is this shit?" Murdoc slammed the paper onto the sofa and snarled. "Russell?"

At demand, the African-American man squinted at the print and understood.

"It is a pretty neat and clever piece for a foreigner to come up with after popping up here two years back in a FedEx crate," Russell responded rather plainly. Murdoc slapped his forehead.

"Give me that!" He snatched it from Russell's' grip. "Hogwash!"

"She's only twelve. It's not that bad, supposedly," 2d suggested.

"I could crush another hole into the center of you face, dullard…." Murdoc muttered, crumpled the paper into a ball and stuffed it into 2d's mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Borax**

"You Idiot! You can't even clean clothes accurately!" Murdoc boomed through the cellar, an echo slamming into 2d's eardrums. "There's a reason for dishwater soap! Now you stained the whites!"

Irate, Murdoc slammed the door shut with too much impact, a knuckle cracked in his wrist. Grunting, he kicked the washing machine with his bare toe.

2d flinched. Murdoc should not have done that.

When Murdoc took control of himself, he glared toward 2d. 2d glared back and smirked.

"Idiot," Murdoc murmured. With ears of a bat, 2d understood clearly.

"Yeah, what if I told you to sod off?"

"Do it and I'll replace you're vocal cords."

"With what?"

"A feeding tube."

"Wait, that's not even potential," 2d replied.

2d winced and gave a peculiar expression. He decided to ignore him and offered a package of borax.

"What in the world is borax? Some made up potion?" Murdoc complimented, disgusted.

"Powdered soap," 2d whispered.

"Then," Murdoc shoved 2d in the ribcage. He flinched again and backed up, edging the staircase with his shoes. "Go and buy some, nut head."

"We're out of gas and I don't keep cash."

"Then make some money." Murdoc aimed to fist pump his head, but 2d dodged and backed up, three steps ahead of Murdoc. "Okay Einstein, forget it. Get Noodle. She's a girl, she'll do it."

"That's child labor," 2d pointed out and turned the knob of the basement door. "Russell would be happy to help your miserable lazy self."

The door slammed shut to darkness, flooding Murdoc's sight. Rage pounded like a hammerlock in his chest.

"What did you just say?" He gripped onto the doorknob and yanked it. Sweating with grief, he yanked repeatedly until a shadow passed the crack between the doorframe and the handle. It opened to Noodle. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot in agitation.

"Murdoc-san, now is not the time." Noodle sighed and departed.

"This is my flippi'n place!" Murdoc screamed and chased her down the hallway. "I can do what I want whenever!"

Noodle gasped as longer legs thundered by her and hands clutched her neck. She kicked and caught Murdoc baffled in the shin. Her eyes grew like springs as she shot u onto the sofa. She froze when she spotted a scratch.

"Well then keep your place. This sofa is mine," She explained and dug a nail into her chest.

Before Murdoc could protest, Russell rang the doorbell. After Murdoc yanked four times, Russell rolled his eyes and tapped the window. Noodle jumped down from the towering sofa and pushed Murdoc out of the way.

"Thanks, girly," Russell said as the door flung open. He stepped in with bags of cans and personal hygiene. "You still alive in one piece. Don't lie, hear?"

Noodle nodded innocently and pointed behind her. The sofa fabric was torn into bits.

"Just ignore it, alright?" Russell concluded.

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Flames of Revenge

"He looks all gentle and childish," Murdoc observed. The frost night nipped his skin, and he wore a jacket. 2d was shivering under pale moonlight wearing jeans and a short sleeve shirt. Still, he slept, because Murdoc kept him awake nagging him to sleep on the rooftop, shingles digging into his skin. He rolled around to find a position of consolation. No luck guaranteed. "Ah, miserable rubbish."

Murdoc planned it all, pushing 2d into the dewy grass and compost. He climbed the cracks and shingles to reach the gutter. Murdoc snatched the ladder from underneath him and drove his head forward into the mucky water. Then he left, cackling after the prank.

2d woke up with a migraine and just craved to fall into the deepest snooze possible. Sprawled about the rooftop, he woke to a window sliding open.

"2d-san, why are you up there?" Noodle asked in concern with no doubt of who did it. She wanted to check up on him. 2d excused the reason for losing something. Noodle however, not being gullible, just accepted his defense and announced practice in the recording studio. "My window is open. Murdoc is coming with strange sounds, so you might want to hurry…sorry."

"It's not your fault," 2d alleged and struggled with several chipping cracks in the shingles, nearly slipping into nothing and risking a long fall below the cliff. His foot tapped the windowsill and he fit through Noodle's window in an awkward position, knees struck out. "Dullard, get you sorry ass out here!" Murdoc bellowed through the hallway. The scrabble of metal burned his ears as 2d straightened his spine to a human form and retrieved his piano from the cellar before meeting an agitated green-skinned sadist.

"What do you need a bloody fricki'n piano for?" Murdoc accused and jerked 2d's shoulders backward, pinning the startled man to the wall.

"Murdoc, your bass is on fire," Russell fibbed. This provoked Murdoc to insanely pounce onto his prized instrument only to realize his foolish move. Instead two emerald eyes grew like string and a high-pitched giggle came from the bass guitar case.

"Noodle dammit you little twit!" Murdoc sputtered. He would have slapped her if a drumstick weren't tossed at the back of his neck.

"Russell, don't you start, you sugar pop."

Russell shrugged honesty.

"It wasn't me."

"Alright 2dents, ready to have your toenails curled?" Murdoc gritted his teeth and lunged toward the lanky man. 2d bolted for the doorway and narrowed his eyes, steady in balance.

"Murdoc-san!" noodle caught his attention before a massive commotion. "Do this song now or go sober!" That jerked Murdoc into his sense as he strapped his bass and squared off from the microphone.

"See what you've been influencing the girl?" Russell squawked. Instead of cussing Russell, Murdoc glanced at 2d who had a grin the width of a banana and eyes red with flames.

"Stop gawking at me," he hissed. 2d obeyed and glanced at the floor, yet red still gleamed in his cheeks. "Why are you so damn dismal, you melancholy fool?"

"Because," 2d insisted, "Of you, obviously."

"Too bad, life's unfair."

"Song starts now!" Noodle demanded, annoyed. Russell covered Murdoc's grumbles with a rhythmic drum beat, pounding echoes through the room.

"I'm not happy…" 2d choked out. So it was true.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: One Not-So-Fine Wire

Behind the wall, a short circuit blew its fuse. The power in the whole building shut out. Darkness snapped into position like furious mouse traps. A small light flickered from a cigarette. Footsteps bruised the floor and Murdoc grasped for the flame.

"Where did you get that?" he demanded

"My ashtray," 2d responded. "Where else?"

"Give me that, I'm busy!" He snatched what felt like cushioned bone and snarled. "Quit playing around."

"Look who's playing. You could have drawn fire onto the couch easily."

"Fork it over."

"I can't see you," 2d admitted.

Murdoc forged a fist forward. A yelp caused the flame to shudder violently.

"Now do you?" Murdoc asked sarcastically.

"No," 2d winced. "I felt it."

"Want me to try harder?"

"No! You just want to burn the place to ashes!"

A shrill metal shriek cut through their feud. Russell hollered from the cellar with notification that he was controlling the dilemma. The process would take about forty-five to ninety minutes. Murdoc groaned dramatically and flopped onto what he thought was the sofa, yet his hand flew past the armrest. Another thump caused the flame to dance away, still refusing to take in oxygen. Murdoc squatted and crawled on all floors to follow the flame, maybe snatch a skinny pant leg.

Up in her room, Noodle submerged a morsel of crayon wax into a bowl and forged a needle and thread into the center, chipping the needle with a nail clipper, the thread was secluded in the darkness. The thread was thick and worthy of her small lighter for emergency purposes. A flame flashed vivaciously as it met the wick.

She carefully led the candle downstairs and tracked down the racket of amusement. Her emerald eyes glued to vague shadows stretching across the wall, one short and long, the other tall and bent. A glow licked at the living room door frame.

"Where did you get that light, 2d-san?" she asked. 2d turned around in surprise and asked if she wanted to be near the light.

"Just don't breathe in the smoke," he explained. Noodle was old enough to comprehend the mishaps of the death stick. She covered her mouth and dimples dug into her oriental skin.

"Dullard," Grunted the lower shadow. "Have you ever been taught to share?"

"Wait, Murdoc you're about to trip…" 2d started. It was a bit too late. Noodle twisted her ankle and her hair whisked by the flames by accident. A squeal bombarded through the halls as 2d and Murdoc cupped strands of her hair to keep out the oxygen. Russell had another reason to phone the fire station in Essex.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Reminders**

Author's Note: Any suggestions for the police mentioned in the next chapter? This will be taken place at a toiletry store. Thanks for those who are reading! And it's our opinion, anyhow don't mind.

"Wrong crickey number!" Murdoc growled and slammed the phone down.

He dialed again to rearrange meeting plans with a club manager.

The phone rang again.

He ignored it, yet the ringing deafened his ears. He choked the pasty yellow spiral cord and yanked it off the hook, tearing it from the port. A blue spark triggered. Absentmindedly, Murdoc snatched the phone plug altogether and every lamp and computer in his workroom flashed out. An enraged grumble lasted for another ninety seconds.

Behinds the door, 2d endeavored to muffle a snigger, yet his reddening cheeks began to blow. He knocked on the door and when it was heartily opened to an anxious Murdoc, the first thing that was eyed was Murdoc's phone.

_His_ phone.

"What the hell, where did you bloody find this!" Murdoc howled and gripped onto 2d's wrist with one hand of steel, and caressed his phone with a hand of consol. Defiantly, he gave 2d's face a good whack.

Instantly, not far behind, Russell ordered Murdoc to hurry up.

"What did I do?" 2d asked simply, furrowing his eyebrows. "I was trying to help."

"Where are my keys, you blubbering pea-brain!"

2d had to dodge another slap. A purple tinge streamed in his cheek as his smile weakened.

Instead he ignored the question for the sake of missing more bitterness.

"A pea is a ball, that doesn't make any sense."

An agitated sigh doubled down the hall.

"Oh look, another new thing to learn," Murdoc said slyly and rolled his eyes vividly. "It's actually a veggie and so are you!" He shoved 2d's head backward, his legs buckling and feet turning submissively. Murdoc followed him down the hall and pointed a nail like a dagger into Russell's chest.

"Where're them keys?"

Russell fidgeted in his pocket and forked the key ring over to the livid man. Murdoc grew impatient as the silence from the American ticked onward until everyone loaded into the vehicle. He deserved it. As he pulled the shift gear he slapped his forehead with the loss of one important reminder.

"Who has the bloody map?" He demanded wrathfully. He flicked his head around the shoulder of his seat. "It better be here!"

"Winnebago," Noodle smiled a toothy grin and pointed out the window. 2d covered her ears as Murdoc cursed his way out of unbuckling his seatbelt, booting door open, and galloping into his love shack for the map.


End file.
